theatre boy's leg

a note, phone number, Jenny

calling, scared, fragmented

cold coffee helps it down

later did laundry, a boy came in

some one had just said he wanted to kill him

he was wearing a red shirt with a walking red panda on it

finishing laundry

a hungry boat, waiting in a hotel room

pet box, wild box













hunters hunting bran flakes, this is just a tiny baby

in the bath,
thinking about shaving my legs

The above is an 'in pictures' riff on my short story 'Dear Sybellus' on which I just finished what are probably the final microscopic revisions yesterday, even though I'd finished the actual story months ago. Yes, it's for Dennis Cooper's marvelous 'Userlands' anthology which is coming out in January I believe. I used some of these images while writing the story and others I started gathering while finishing it and still others I dug up tonight. And, all except the 'dear syb opener' (blurry one) are found pics. Hope you enjoy.

p.a.b.

Raping the locks of glittergates
made not of gold but snowflakes
the walls I found there were
a perfectly stormy gray,
on an evening's fold

the children dressed as angels
and the angels dressed as children
and everyone but I with hair
they daily trimmed,
took to hiding keys.

And, I fucked a boy so sweet
that the milk of mine flowed
not from me, but from my soul.

Today my cousin, whom I
know her name and face, at least,
is getting married; I'm invited.

This has troubled me deeply
till today I thought, why
bringest sadness
to such joy?

For as we should know,
there truly is joy in joy
even between softly warring sweets
in bloodlines dispersed.

But I felt useless, as the chairs
were put away, and the bubbles
that we blew from the heads of
the plastic bride and groom
just weren't doing it for me anymore.

I stood around, and when I sat
I stared at these two girls,
one whom I realized was way too young
but I wanted to think she reminded me
of a character in my upcoming novel.

The other had black hair
she had curled like a doll's
and a dress like one too,
a paper doll.

I couldn't tell how old she was,
was she older than me?
Younger? Were those her children,
or her brother and sister?

I kept conversations going with
those cousins who weren't getting married
but only in my head did I rape the locks
as I did that night before.

Two cities over the air smelled as manure.
And the boy I stole for my picture
looked surprisingly like a girl,
and my armpits smelled
like melted butter,
while the thing on my neck
was probably cancer.

The girl who checked me out
said have an awesome day
taking the receipt I said,
you too, but later I
thought about my sweater
and her laying next to me
in the crowd of women and girls
that filled my room
I was naked and she was soft
and firm
she destroyed my anxiety
with excited words
and her tan skin
was her largest organ
and so soft and firm,
muscles underneath
her largest organ,
I was rode by a doe.

Only later did I realize
that my cousin had left my life
as their car drove away on the dirt
and that I hadn't been there
because she wanted me to,
but because I had to be.

The dismal day I had envisioned
slipped into a ping pong game
in the rain,
ham and cheese sandwiches,
in the rain,
well, really it was pizza.

Drum solos, green fields,
green hills awaiting Wal-marts
drum solos in detergent heavy air
garages where I felt if they had been mine,
my garages, I could of really had a band
and I felt connected, for a while,
to a family who laughed
at all my jokes
and was just as awkward as I
and I think, just as
sometimes awfully shy.

Your Missing Winner

'misslesgreen' (used here, and not funny)

material witness to pseudo-material personality identification techniques (content resuming soonish) aka 'out of the closet music geek post'...

but now a look back, on the joyful toil of 01/06

(but only)listening wise:

perspects - skillset preview (thanks ian!)

aphex twin - selected ambient works ii
- richard d james
- come to daddy ep
- girl/boy ep
- windowlicker

alarm will sound - acoustica (a.w.s. performs the music of aphex twin) - really brilliant

afx - analord 8

quinoline yellow - ep

mr 76ix - hits of 76ix i & ii

broadcast - tender buttons (finally got into it)

edan - primitive plus

and lots of other things (charlie parker jsp boxset, leonard cohen, the new ryoji ikeda, pre-now susumu yokota... for instance) but mainly can't get enuff afx.

writing: dear sybellus, others...('dear sybellus' was my submission to d.c.'s lhotb anthology)

in the back of my head (i.e. not consciously constant) the boy from millions, like when the saint is talking to him and he's taking his shirt off changing to go to bed(people still do that?!) and when his brother is showing him (women's) breasts and when everyone thinks it's going to be a sexual scene, it is but in a sublime way as he relates to the image of the breasts in bra in thinking about his mother(dead)...

so i suppose really i'm thinking about images in digitalvideo from a few years ago (by now)

no!

'pink missles' (used here)

a end of january mix cd(in the exact following order, duh):

aphex twin - windowlicker (- warp - 1999)
afx - pwsteal.idpnich.d (analord 8 - rephlex - 2005)
edan - key bored (primitive plus - 2002)
afrirampo - afrirampo (ursa in japan - 2002)
perspects - too much too fast (peopleskills preview - interdimensional transmissions - 2006)
alarm will sound - avril 14th (acoustica: alarm will sound perfomrs aphex twin - cantaloupe Music - 2005)
wire - outdoor miner (long version) (chairs missing 1978/1994 cd issue on harvest)
boc scadet - semblence (vessel in june - 2005 - clickclickdrone)
quinoline yellow - open toed wellies (cyriack parasol - 2004 - skam)
the kinks - i go to sleep (1965? this is the beautiful piano 'demo' on the kinda kinks 1998 reissue on essential uk)
kid 606 - spanish song (resilence - tigerbeat6 - 2005)
ni hao! - maternity blue (gorgeous -tzadik - 2005)
mr 76ix - other - (hits of 76ix - skam- 2004)
animal collective - the purple bottle (feels - fatcat - 2005)
hoahio - dj hashimoto (peek-ara-boo- tzadik - 2003)
martha wainright - factory (s/t - zoe -2005)
dr dog - the pretender (easy beat - national parking/park the van - 2005)
syzygys - lotus rain (studio ver) (complete studio recordings - 2003 - tzadik)
bedhead - extramundane (transaction de novo - 1998 - Trance Syndicate Records)
broadcast - tears in the typing pool (tender buttons - warp - 2005)
bola sete - vira mundo penba (ocean memories - 1972 - rereleased on samba moon records in 2000)

(roughly 79 minutes total, this mix actually works! don't worry perspects, i'm -not- sendng this to anyone, it's just for me and as a possible one others could try for themselves. yr files are safe with me. if anyone wants to try this and doesn't have the perspects track yet, psychic tv's 'orchids' fits really well as a temp.)

check out my new glow!

The Pumpkin Sequel!

The return of the pumpkins from out of the ether. Just when I thought it was safe to go out and play, again... Yes, just as I was bouncing the first ball, they came back! But what did they want? Just as I began to phrase my question, I was sucked in, again.

Their world had been taken over by a squiggle! Or so I thought. In truth it was simply an artifact of my otherworldly vision, in reality it was a large series of narrows viewed from above as I fell down to land in them. Or so they told me. Actually their world was just fucked up. Or colorful and squiggly, however you want to put it. Lots of fast motion and flying around, that's for sure.

An escape? I thought, no, it can't be possible. How am I to know what world I will be escaping into? And then I saw the truth for what it was, a boxing scene. Yes, every great blockbuster performance piece of the pumpkinland has a boxing scene where they form 2-d boxes stretched out and twist them from the sky.

Finally the last frame of the film came up, and it was the first picture from my second series of pumpkins. I was trying to do another repeating image, this time using a sampled section of one of the pumpkins. But the dark vibe I liked about this image was now my only space of existence. I launched into the black and felt a concave pull, the pumpkins flew by and laughed.

And so ends the pumpkins for now, boomed my conscience as I began my travels in the mostly black emptiness every now and then striped with two off color images. As I floated there I remembered how I had had an idea for a 5'x 4' scuplture of one of those pumpkins with a real boy hugging it, well it would be a photo of the boy hugging the kinda huge paper maché(or whatever I ended up using) sculpture. Hopefully I can get to that sometime this year. But I'm happy I was able to at least get these old pix out here, for now, as I float in the blackness(with an ethernet connection to some godforsaken, thank god, interdimensional internet).